Why are Relationships so challenging?
Since there is no “perfect” person or relationship, you have to know what your needs are, in order for you to have effective relationships with others. Whether you?re talking about relationships at work (colleagues, bosses, or customers) or at home (siblings, spouses, parents, children, neighbors, or friends), good, healthy relationships are the key to happiness and success.? But when something goes wrong in a relationship, it can cause us sleepless nights, even physical ailments. At the very least it is energy-draining and distracting. So, if positive relationships are the key to our well-being, and difficult relationships are stressful and debilitating, the ability to maintain productive and healthy relationships is obviously a life skill that we not only want, we need. Let?s look, for a minute, at those difficult relationships. Why are they problematic? What makes them difficult? The reality is that there are unresolved differences that are negatively affecting the relationship. Those unresolved differences, whatever they are, lead to anger, frustration, resentment, and distrust. And it is these feelings (anger, frustration, resentment and distrust) that are stressful and debilitating.? You can?t have a relationship without differences. We?re all different ? that?s just a fact of life. Even when we have a really good relationship with someone we will experience differences. But remember what we said, difficult relationships are due to unresolved (or, at least, unaddressed) differences. It stands to reason then, that in order to build healthy relationships, we need to know how to address and resolve our differences. And there is an effective?way to do that! There is a way to address our differences that helps build those relationships rather than destroy them.?I call it knowing your worth by taking the?80/20 Relationship Challenge!
What is the 80/20 Challenge?
The 80/20 Rule for Relationships encourages individuals?to strive for no less than?80% of what they want in life.?This means the people in your life?give you almost everything you want and need (80%), except a small percentage (20%)?of what your willing to compromise not having.
For example, maybe you want to go dancing every weekend, but your partner told you up front that they don’t dance. Is this something you?re willing to give up in exchange for all of the other things your partner has to offer? You have to determine if your mate fulfills at least 80% of your needs, and you need to determine if the 20% you?re giving up is made of things you?re willing and able to let go of. The challenge is a way for you to look at your own wants and needs and figure out what your 80% needs to be, when you?re struggling to find out exactly what you need to be happy. Sounds easy, right? But think for a moment. How many times have you found yourself in a difficult or stressful situation where you were at odds with another person and you just reacted without thinking? Whether you flew off the handle or you ran away from the situation, you reacted without thinking the action through and without considering the consequences. We?ve all done it. In fact, it?s a pretty typical thing to do. Conflicts often catch us by surprise and we just react. It?s that knee-jerk response.
The CakeChronicles.com?80/20 Relationship Challenge helps individuals?determine what your needs are to be happy. Before you can see if someone is right for you, you must first know what your needs are. This seminar helps you determine if the people in your life have what it takes to fulfill?80% of?what you?need to be happy. Dating and relationships are?like baking a cake for the first time.?The cake might be ok, or even good, but you may need to?”tweak” the ingredients?with a?pinch of this, and?a dash of that to get it just right! Once you’ve?mastered knowing who you are and what emotional, physical and psychological traits a person should have in order for you to be happy,?you can decide if they are “worthy” for you to invest more time with them. Take the time to invest in the right personality ingredients! So if you are in a relationship or desiring to establish healthy relationships in life your, take the CakeChronicles.com 80/20 Relationship Challenge to know what?ingredients you need to establish?healthier,?happier relationship because If you Can’t Be the Cake, You Won’t be the Crumbs!
?The First Step in the Challenge?is to Learn Who You Are!
Before you can establish a “healthy” relationship with someone else, it is imperative?you know who you are, where you stand, and how to get your needs met.??Building on the wisdom of my grandmother’s saying, Cake Chronicles provides women of all ages the tools they need to achieve their heartfelt goal in these areas.
The process begins with introspection. Looking inward at yourself, examining yourself, and discovering your true self. The process is just like Michael Jackson said, you have to?”start with the man in the mirror.” This website?is a compilation of?information and tools that have been researched and applied by myself and others, which will help?you take the first step in this process. Even if you are married or happily dating, each person should complete?their self-reflection process in the following?order:
Session 1: Personal Emotional Reflection
Session 2: Personal Psychological Assessments
Session 3: Identifying your Unhealthy Communication Styles
Session 4: Personal Reflection
Next Step: Identify which other area of your life you would like to evaluate
Once you have identified your needs, you can use the exercises you’ve learned to then identify your mate?s needs. Encourage them to go through the exercises as well. Once you both know what your needs are, then you can determine if at least 80% of each of your needs are met, and if they are asking you to give up?20% that you?re willing to accept losing. If they are, then you know this person is worth spending your time and energy on.
After that, if you want to try to get them to give up some of that 20%, that’s up to you. But if they never do, you can be happy knowing they have what it takes to make you happy, and vice versa! If you find your are accepting less than 80%, then you will discover the areas in your relationship where you and your partner need some work.
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